Wednesday 1 August 2007

Why call a spade a simulacrum of post-modernist consciousness in the cerebral cortex?

The following are examples of extremely profound statements made by the students of the 2004-07 batch of the Department of Visual Communication, DG Vaishnav College, Chennai, chosen at random from a humongously humongous cornucopia of profundity:

A: Dude, I think you stepped on my toe.
B: Dude, that’s your index finger!

X: Dude... do you know what Ramanujam was famous for?
Y: Of course da... Raman Effect!

How do I draw an imaginary line?

Does anyone have a helicopter? I need to race with time.

I am a children!

Dude... I kicked the dumbbell by mistake.

It is equal to inversely proportional.

How many megapickles?

Oye? That was a sky-fi movie?

Am I amoebic?

Who’s going to tick bookets?

Is she your nephew?

We should have been a bunch of girls studying viscom in MOP.

TUP, TUP, TUP! DISHOOM!! DISHOOM!!

Those days, sadly, are behind me. I’m now a student at the Asian College of Journalism, Chennai; and well, I have been so forcibly removed from my still recent past that my ears are bombarded daily by words and phrases such as bourgeoisie (the spell check sure helps), sub judice, habeas corpus (well, I knew this word even in the seventh standard, through Perry Mason, but I’m still not sure what on Earth it means), gamut, gambit, simulacrum, existentialism, temporal collective consciousness, post-modernism, structuralism (I’m told this has a post-prefixed cousin as well), Schr√∂dinger’s cat, hegemony and a whole gamut (whoops, there it is again) of evil sounding French and Latin words.

We watched a Chinese film one Saturday (with subtitles, thank God; I’m sure we have some guys in class who can speak two hundred and thirteen languages fluently), and at the end of it all, I found myself in the middle of a discussion about the visual metaphors used by the director to do some rather exciting sounding stuff that when perceived by someone does something to a whole lot of different nodes in the left brain of that someone, which creates a conflict between one thing and another thing: one of which began with a G, if I remember right… anyway, what emerged out of it all was that it was a rather good movie, for most part, and we’ll screen a French Nouvelle Vague film next Saturday.

9 comments:

pavan madhini said...

I wonder, how many of these profound statements were NAIRISMS???

KK Iyer said...

most of them...

Vin said...

you added one of your lines in the list.

good to see a new blog post man!

KK Iyer said...

ah, yes... i think the 'is she your nephew?' is mine... yeah man... i shall try to find time every now and then to post...

Krish Ashok said...

I sure hope the ACJ does not end up teaching you guys to be critical of everything :) Raghav feels that elitist wave of negativism wetting his feet already

KK Iyer said...

I'm afraid that's exactly what they're teaching us... Mostly to be critical of ourselves. I felt like a confident young man when I walked in to the place and I now feel rather like how Venkatesh must have felt in this Telugu movie I saw long back where soup spills all over his trouser leg and he asks the waiter to get him alternate leggings. The scene then cuts to him stepping out of an auto wearing the rest of his natty suit and a pair of red polka dotted bermudas.

Harini said...

hehe... those lines made me laaaaaaaugh like so so much!
super post!

Abstrakx Wanderings said...

... Came here from Harini's blog and am trying to be mega-ly insulted on behalf of MOP vis commers. We have more than decorative value you know. If only occasionally. :)

KK Iyer said...

I didn't mention MOP's vis-commers anywhere!!! I was referring to the 2004-07 DG Vaishnav viscom batch, of which I was part... Was rather missing those years back when I wrote this post... In any case, good to hear from you; keep the comments coming!